Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Is my Mummy a slow developer?

Today Mummy nearly took 2 of my 5 teeth out with the pram.  She hit a pot hole at high speed and I nearly smashed into the roll bar.  I don't know where she was looking - but certainly not where she was going.  Daddy says Mummy used to drive a motorbike but I find that hard to believe.  She is always crashing with me, or getting stuck on speed humps, or up steps.  Other Mummies don't seem to have the same problem.  No wonder I have taken up driving myself.

Look at that big spider behind you Mummy
She also has problems dressing me.  Sometimes she puts things on back to front - and she never ever gets those sleep suit studs all to fasten up even though I have been wearing them for over a year now.  I always have a drafty hole somewhere or the other. She leaves me naked most of the day and even lets me pee in the plant pot. 
I know they had problems with nappies when I was born and they had to look it up on YouTube.  Daddy has the hang of it but Mummy is still struggling.  Most days I spend with the elastic leg stuck up my crevice and a gap in the front where I can pee through.
And whilst I'm at it, she's not that hot on communication.  I had to learn to point at quite an early age to try and get through to her but she still insists on putting me on the potty when I am asking to read a book. 
And she's very slow speaking.  Mummy still hasn't caught up with all the Mummytalk.  She doesn't even try anymore.  She still calls a pram a pram.  She refuses to say 'Doggy or Horsey or even Sippee Cup'.  Other Mummies are pretty fluent by now so I am starting to wonder at what age she is going to start.
She hasn't a clue when it comes to all the baby gadgetry either.  I caught her reading through the baby page of the Argos catalogue the other day so she could have something to chat to other mothers about at the play groups.  She is just so unaware of all the things out there.  She shows no interest in toys or status symbol prams and bags.  She likes books and that's about it. 
She also cracks jokes which might be funny with her friends in the city but they just don't go down well with other Mummies.  And she shouldn't be swearing at her age.
She also doesn't have much sense of proprietary and no respect whatsoever for authority.  I think this is going to cause problems later on.  And she's ever such a show off.  Whenever she thinks someone is looking at her, she starts to misbehave.  A couple of weeks ago she even had a tantrum in a café.  We were all having a very nice lunch when the waitress asked Mummy if she was a nanny.  Mummy went into melt down.  I have never been so embarrassed.  Mummy had a fit all the way home.  She kept saying 'I was a director of a public company and she thinks I'm a nanny!' and it took her ages to calm down even when I climbed up to her level and gave her a cuddle whilst looking in her eyes.
And so I do wonder about Mummy hitting her developmental stages.  It's been 14 months now and she seems very behind. 
She does make me laugh though.  This morning I laughed so much I got hiccups.


  1. Love it! Big hugs to you all xx

    1. Love to you too and that very quiet Uncle Cod x

  2. Hi there, Joey! Your mummy is really something else altogether! I think you write deliciously and you are SO funny about mummy's city jokes not going down with other mummies - I laughed out loud. You're a very lucky little boy having all that scrumptious food and a mummy to splatter it over! Advice: if EVER, and I mean only ONE time will do it - if EVER your mummy starts saying horsey or even sippee cup then… call her NANNY - that'll stop it! I adore your new film "Prams of Fire"! Wow! The action! Love your blog and so glad you're keeping it up so well. Give mummy and daddy a huge smakeroo from me (preferably after eating that beetroot soup) and lots of love and cuddles to you - Tati Suzy

    1. Chere Tati
      Wish you were making the films for my blog!
      Bisous a vous deux xxxx

    2. So do I!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Joe loves to get post (and presents) and post