Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Life on the Open Road

So Mama and Papa decided to go to the Motor home Show at Shepton Mallet at the weekend.  It was our first trip in Nono (Mama says she’s called Nona).  We were all very excited.  Mama kept saying she couldn’t wait for it to get dark and to get cosy in bed. 
I loved my new seat.  I was so high up I could see cows and sheep and say ‘poo cows and poo sheep and poo pigs’.  I could also see tractors.  And police cars.
Mama sat my lucky cat up front so he could see too.  Daddy said he loved the open road.

The show called itself a 'rally'.  Mama said she'd never been to a rally.  Daddy has been to loads.  He is Mr. Bike Rally.  Mama thought there might be naked dancing round camp fires but fortunately everyone kept their clothes on.  Mama was the youngest person there (excluding me).  It was nice to see all these Nana's and Ganggangs out and about instead of stuck in care homes like my Grandpappy.  Their motto was 'Adventure before Dementia'. 
Anyway, I had a ball running in and out of all the vans for sale.  (Daddy says if it has a bathroom it's a motor home!).  In fact I spent 2 hours at it with Mama chasing after me and the salesman chasing after Mama.

 They had the strangest of things for sale for people with camper vans.  I could understand awnings and dog baskets and spare tyre covers but there was a habadashery stall and a stall selling kites and really long poles to attach them to your van.  There was also a man selling ladders and lots of sparkly lights but the best of all were these ginormous hedgehogs.

 Here we are parked up for the night.  Mama insisted on eating outside even though I was freezing.  Everyone else had tables and chairs and sparkly lights and a huge pole with a kite flying from it and we had a rug and a couple of yoga blocks.

 The highlight of my trip was a girl getting stuck up a tree and Mama having to help her down.  I love someone getting stuck and a rescue mission.  Here's daddy pretending to be stuck.
Off to Durdle Door on Friday and then who knows where.  The No funs really don't know where they are going.  They tell me there is a trip OOp North and then over to Holland but who knows.  I hope Mama isn't map reading.

Monday, 25 August 2014

Here she is

Causing a Tornado
So there she was, waiting for us in Dorset.  In a beautiful field opposite Nana's house.  I was so happy to see her.  Mama started her up (after I had worked out how to turn the immobiliser off) and she sounded so pleased to see us.  We have explored all the cupboards and laid on the bed and I can't wait to sleep in her. 
We were so lucky to get her.  Mama and Daddy had been looking for a while.  They saw a Dethleffs that they really liked well over a year ago.  They didn't buy it because it was too early.  Daddy kept going on about how he knew we should have bought it.  We went to see several vans but they all smelt.  Some of dogs,.  Some of bacon.  Some of pubs.  We spent several weekends driving for hours and hours to discover that the van which looked OK on the photo smelt mouldy. 
Then in March, Daddy saw this van advertised and Mama sent them an email.  It looked perfect and it was only 6 miles away!  They got all excited and then discovered that the van was being used and was in Spain.  Their little faces fell.  I was up for going to Spain but they weren't.  Anyhow, when they had just about forgotten about this one, they got an email to say that the van was back and would they like to view it.  We were all very excited.  We all sort of knew it was the one even before viewing it.  So we went immediately and she was just perfect.  The owners were so nice.  The van was over our budget, but they took an offer and the following weekend we picked her up.  It was almost like it was fated.  Daddy has finally stopped going on about the Dethleffs.  And so here we are.  And here she is.  We keep going and looking at each other.  I am sure she is wondering who we are and how kind we will be to her. 
Mama has left Daddy to finish the house off.  The new tenants move in on the 6th September.  Mama says she's had enough of packing.  She is going to burn everything.  Daddy is bringing our things down to put into storage on Friday.  Daddy says they won't fit.  Mama might get her wish.  As long as they don't burn my books. 
Daddy says we now have to live a minimalist life style.  Mama agrees.  I don't know where I am going to store my sticks and rock collection.  Mama says we are doing things back to front.  They have children at 43 and then down size.  We have moved from a 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom flat with roof terrace to a van with an awning.  I don't care.  I'm going to have Daddy and Mama all the time and we are going to play out.
Although not at the moment.  It is hurling with rain.  Mmmm.  What are 3 of us going to do in a van in the rain?
Oh No!

Saturday, 26 July 2014

They've only gone and done it

Hymen 614
 They've only gone and bought it.  It was almost like it was destined.  More about the great people who we bought the van from later.  I cannot tell you how much I love the driver's seat.  My bed is fairly cool too.  Mummy can't contain herself.  She keeps singing campervan songs.  Anyhow the van and daddy have disappeared off to Dorset to store the van and Mummy and I have to wait until we get chance to have a drive.  Borrrrrrrrringggggggggg.  It's daddy's birthday today.  What a present!  At least we have Aunty Jayne and Aunty Ping to cheer us up tomorrow.

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

“Instead of legs, horses should have wheels. Then they’d be petable motorcycles.
” ― Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

Mummy seems frighteningly keen to get me on a horse.  I know I keep her quiet for hours in the car by making every single possible animal noise ( including fish) but that does not mean that I want to ride.  I think they ought to be approached with caution.

Yesterday, I saw one throw back it's lips and try and take a chunk from its compatriots neck and Mummy expects me to stroke it. She has some crazy ideas.  (Something to do with being kicked in the head by a hoss?) Last week she got us chased by a herd of bulls.  She doesn't seem to realise that I am small and attractive in my orange jacket and yellow wellies.  Mummy says “It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.” but I prefer Granddads motorbike.
But I can draw a horse.
This is my blue and green horse.  My horse under the sea.  My sea horse.  All my other colours were tucked up in bed.  I have started a wonderful relationship with them.  I have also progressed to circles.  Nana was so impressed by my circles that I drew one for her on her carpet.  She didn't seem so keen on that one.
Anyway, I am going home tomorrow.  I am so excited about seeing Daddy.  And the builders and Daddy. 

I shall miss the woods, and the birds and the newts the puddles and the sticks and the holes.

And the Bluebells and the trees and the light and did I mention the sticks and the holes?
But most of all I shall miss Nana and Granddad.  Kisses.

Friday, 18 April 2014

Mad as an April Hare

 I'm back  down in Dolly Dorset.  We had to make a run for it.  Mummy has decided to have a loft conversion, just as we are buying a campervan and preparing to clear off.  She is also trying to get the house rented in Dorset as well as completing her OU assignments.  Mad.  Why can't she just stay at home and knit?  Poor old Daddy is stuck with the builders and the dust but Mummy says 'at least he gets a lie in'.  I miss him and ask for him when I wake up.  Spring has sprung whilst we have been down here and I just love picking daisies and roaring at the dandelions.

Apart from missing Daddy, I am having a ball.  I got to sit in a tractor, visit some alpacas, look at the sea, and sit in Nana's campervan.  I just love the campervan.  Mummy says it's a good job because soon we will be living in one.
Maybe Mummy's madness is related to the moon. 

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Things to entertain Mummy during the rainy days

Mummy says it's a long old winter.  She keeps buying me longer and longer wellies if that's anything to go by. 
Welly bellies

She takes me out every day - even though it's hurling it down and I think she is going to get arrested by the parenting police.  Today, we were the only people on the common and I nearly blew away.  I keep dreaming up things to entertain her in the house so we don't have to go out.  I learned to play guitar on my shirt.

And then I found a baby to kiss in the mirror.

I put numbers on Daddy head,   I hide pigs behind my back, I dance for her and sing for her.  I play hide and seek.  I stroke her face if she looks sad.  I perform circus tricks and try and stand on my head.  I laugh at all her jokes as if they are the first time I have heard them.  I try on an array of hats for her amusement
Daddy's hat

and I make every single animal noise I can think of.  And she still insists on taking me out..............................................

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Wanted Burstner Elegance 690 or Hymer 644G

Mummy and Daddy took me to look at campervans at the weekend.  We went to look at a Hymer in Canterbury. Took ages to get there and I fell asleep just as we pulled into the garage.  Mummy didn't hesitate to wake me up.  She told daddy that I am always waking her so hey.....
 Mummy and Daddy have found just 2 models of van that suit their needs.  They all look the same to me.  Mummy kept referring to it as a hymen.  Fortunately, only I noticed.

They ended up not buying it.  Mummy said it looked like someone had been living in it.  What does she think you do in them? She did ask the salesman if he would take a cheeky offer and when he said it depends on how cheeky, Mummy said 'Oh I can be very cheeky'.  I thought they were going to buy it, just so that they didn't have to drive home.
But they didn't.  Any way , we had potato pie for lunch.  I can say 'pie' now and 'cake', so 'burp' fits in nicely.

 I was so happy to get home, I had to have a little dance in my pants